It’s been eight months…
After a few heavily unorganized days, I am, finally, back on track. Yay!
This post is going to be a reflection on the past few months (probably also a measure of how worse my writing skills have gotten as a result of months of inactivity :P).
Mumbai is a place where speaking in Hindi symbolizes an informal, cordial friendship. Speak with your mates in English, and it’ll obliterate your chances at that. After residing for over fifteen years in Bangalore (where a conversation in Hindi was the last thing you’d hear amongst close friends), it was a little difficult to adjust to being shunned away as “that formal acquaintance”. However, I luckily did not get into much trouble, it was dealt with well enough (shout-out to my Hindi school teachers, who always awarded me good grades).
That was the situation five months back, and I’m glad to say, language is the least of my problems now. Important problems followed, big enough to discredit that from getting all the attention.
What followed was the end-of-term exams, which went mediocre, given the inept preparation that proceeded them. (I passed, yes, but I missed the Distinction.) The first four months were spent experimenting with various textbooks and study methods, a rigorous trial-and-error method, that ended with a disappointing performance in the first term exams, and in two quizzes that were held at that time.
The second term exams saw my best efforts, although, inadequate revision. A good schedule was implemented, but what I missed out, was previous-year paper solving. There was a little crying after the results, but that is healthy.
The week after that, though, went wonderful. It remains my most delightful experience in Med school so far! Immediately after the papers, I took a flight back to Bangalore. Completed The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddharth Mukherjee; finished a significant amount of the beautiful Case Files (A highly recommended academic book series); drove my two-wheeler in the city outskirts, amidst green fields and a lake, all while listening to great music, and, finally, found my “drive” to survive Med school. It ended with preparing diligently for EBSO (Elsevier Basic Science Olympiad, a nationwide quiz for first-year students) and happily bunking my college fest (which I am still grateful for not having attended, thanks to the lessons I had learned after our Freshers’ party).
(The college conducted a week-long fest for a festival which was being held around mid-September. I had attended the Freshers’ event for our batch only a month before that, as a challenge to meet people and get out of my comfort zone, but I soon discovered that I will never be able to do well in places with a lot of people, music, or dance. I’m peaking at 99% introverted as of now, not very proud of it :P)
In mid-October, I ended up with an AIR 54 in a DAMS (Delhi Academy of Medical Sciences, a prep-school for the Indian Medicine Licensing exam) Scholarship test and that lifted my mood for a few days. I had spent a week preparing for that, so I was elated it paid off well. The rank was good enough, earning me a 40% scholarship in their courses, which I did not end up claiming because I had made up my mind not to join earlier. Why did I study for a “scholarship” test then? I wanted to distract myself from the guilt of my poor (ah, well, mediocre) performance in the term exams.
What came after that, was qualifying for the second round of EBSO. I am hesitant to write this since I barely deserved it. Round 1 had been pathetic, and I was sure of not lasting in the competition even if I made it. I like to assume that I qualified because there were very few participants for the first round, and they needed a bigger crowd for the second one. However, that did not go well enough, and I still await the results as I type this.
I spent most of last month watching medicine quizzes, covering the remaining topics, and reading good books. After finishing The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks, I am amazed by how much difference a good book can have in your thinking process. What I have also discovered, is reading about the history of medicine, or the experience of doctors makes me grateful for the opportunity I have, to hopefully, become a part of such a beautiful community someday.
After years of avoiding it, I recently settled down on the “growth mindset”, which is currently the lock-screen of my phone :P. This is written as a reminder, that no failure or success is ever-lasting. Intermittent gains or losses should be stepping stones and learning curves.
I refrain from writing about my personal life, people, and decisions. There have been some significant events on that frontier, and I have been doing my part in addressing them with the attention they deserve. Maybe someday, I’ll pick up the courage to write more about them.
Until next time, folks!
